There's a Storm Inside of Me

  

-PDF copy available upon request-

There’s a storm inside of me today

What kind, I’m not quite sure

I feel compelled to recognize it

Check it at the door 

The type of storm we’re dealing with is critical to know 

Get diagnostic under way, this weather’s got to go

The storm shows my emotion, and it reveals the truth 

Something needs addressing by my clever inner sleuth

If hurricanes are raging, that means fear is in the air 

This enemy has in the past fast snagged me in its snare

Fear rises from uncertainty and doubt gives it its power

Knowledge tames this raging bull and forces it to cower

If it’s an earthquake, watch your back, then anger’s looming large

Sudden and destructive passion’s aiming to take charge

And what I’ve noticed this mean storm is destined to instruct us

Is whether real or imagined, there’s perception of injustice

Rectify the injury, or vindicate the pure

And placid blue expanse returns as raging clouds demure 

If it’s a freezing blizzard that we find is in our midst

Then loneliness I’m almost sure’s the culprit that exists. 

Crouching lowly in a corner, hidden silent in the dark

Feigning weakness as if victimized, when this misses the mark 

The answer to melt loneliness and thaw it’s frozen grip

Is be a better friend to me, I’ve let my self care slip

Tornado is the final storm which sometimes tries to swell

When cyclones blow destruction ‘round I know what I must quell

This feeling is more like a thought, “exploited” is it’s name

Someone’s taking mean advantage, someone is to blame

It may be true they overstepped, but judgment’s not my business

Honoring my values is, beginning with forgiveness 

Feeling used is a beacon to speak up and to be heard

Tell the truth with lots of love and don’t leave out a word.

Next set boundaries, definition of just where I stand

Clarify and hold fast to the treatment I demand

How’s the weather where you are? See any big storms brewing? 

I let storms be a sign that something big needs doing 

Taking action changes hearts; this I now realize

The storms I face can be my guides; life’s paths to idealize.

I wrote this yesterday as I was thinking how valuable negative emotions can be. I have come to rely on them like my check engine light. I would never just ignore that warning or quash it as if the light were the problem. I honor my negative emotions as symptoms of a greater problem under the surface like the tip of an iceberg. For me, fear means I need more information. Something is too uncertain and I need more definition and clarity to gain confidence. I no longer discredit my anger as unlawful indignation. Now I listen to Malefi-Sonya; her rage may show where justice is lacking. There's no virtue in allowing injustice to stand, simply because it's been perpetrated against myself. In the words of MLK, "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

Martin Luther King

Although, upon deeper examination, I often find that there was no injustice, but hurt nonetheless, that needs redress.

Loneliness is a strong indicator that I'm not being my own best friend, my own soul mate. Whom do I miss, but myself, my mindfulness, my attentiveness, my attention to my body, mind, and spirit. 

The worst is feeling exploited; like someone or everyone just takes my life energy until I feel depleted and worn. When I feel the root of bitterness taking hold, that is the time when I need to remind myself to find my voice and speak the truth in love. This is what happened. This is what I think of that. This is unwanted and I choose that instead. Once I tell the truth to myself and other safe listeners, I draw boundaries. This is where I draw the line. This is what I choose. This is what I'll accept.

I take responsibility and design my life. I get to do that. In fact, I have the responsibility to since that's the only way my unique genius can be expressed and bring joy to the world.

I can rectify the negative emotions that blow across my field of consciousness. Like Dorothy and her ruby slippers, I have the power to return home. Where is home? Bliss. A wonderful sense of well-being that overflows from inside of me whenever I allow nothing to cloud it from outside.

I'd love to know what you think. Please share in the comments... If you're in a season of experiencing negative emotion, what might it be trying to tell you to change?

I have a gift for you. Please reach out and subscribe if you'd like a copy of this poem as a 6-page PDF booklet made with love... and lots of pretty pictures of storms and flowers.